Chinese etiquette is less rigid than you’ve heard — the big three are voice volume, queues, and chopsticks. Speak normally, push in line like everyone else, and never stick chopsticks upright in rice (it’s a funeral symbol).
Five things to get right: how you greet, how you protect “face”, how you behave at the table, what you give, and which numbers you avoid.
1 Greetings
One-line takeaway: a nod and “nǐ hǎo” is enough — warmth builds over time, not at first meeting.
Nod or shake hands
A nod is enough; handshakes are normal in business. A small smile goes further than an effusive hello–hug Western style.
Say “nǐ hǎo”
你好 (nee how) covers every situation, formal or casual.
Use title or surname
Address people by title or surname rather than jumping to first names.
Exchange name cards
Present and receive with both hands — the same rule as gifts.
2 Face & Politeness
One-line takeaway: “face” (miànzi) is a person’s standing and dignity — avoid public embarrassment or blunt confrontation.
3 Do and Avoid, at a Glance
One-line takeaway: the table, the gift and the queue are where visitors slip — here are both columns side by side.
| Situation | Do | Avoid |
|---|---|---|
| Table manners | Dishes are shared — take from the side nearest you. | Reaching across the table; sticking chopsticks upright in rice. |
| Seating & toasts | The guest of honour sits facing the door; let elders or hosts lead toasts. | Opening the toasting yourself when a host or elder is present. |
| Paying | Splitting the bill (“AA”) is common among friends. | Tipping — it isn’t expected. |
| Gifting | Small gifts from home are appreciated; present and receive with both hands. | Clocks, umbrellas, pears and anything in sets of four; unwrapping a gift immediately — let the giver offer. |
| Queues & volume | Push in line like everyone else and speak normally. | Raising your voice to “win” — calm gets better results. |
| Gestures & words | Learn “xièxie” (thank you) and “duìbuqǐ” (sorry); point with an open hand. | Pointing with a single finger. |
4 Numbers & Superstition
One-line takeaway: 8 and 6 are welcome, 4 is quietly removed from buildings.
Floors and rooms skip the number 4, so don’t be surprised when a lift jumps from 3 to 5.
You don’t need perfect manners, just visible respect.
A little effort at politeness opens far more doors than fluent Chinese.